If you kiss it, it’ll turn into a Prince Computer.

We’re still weeping real tears over the loss of Froggy Chair from Animal Crossing: New Horizons, and even though we’ve been waiting almost a year, the amphibian seat has not returned to us. Not even as DLC. Froggy Chair’s allure is irresistible: its little face, the way it looks so darn happy to see you, its friendly, bright green colour that goes with just about everything in every room, ever. Froggy Chair is perfect.

But frogret – sorry, forget Froggy Chair for now. Froggy Chair represents the pre-pandemic times. Happier times, maybe, but also a time when we were childish and na├»ve. We are in the Mad Max future now, and we need so much more than a simple chair.

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